The Prison of the Mind

Frustration has become so common these days that we have become accustomed to expecting it from others. Before interacting with people, on some level we have already rehearsed the conversation and our responses in our minds. Very often we imagine these conversations as arguments, and pre-write the script of both sides of the argument. However, when we actually reach the point of the interactions, we realize that it was so smooth, and we wasted so much energy rehearsing a situation that did not even occur. Rehearsing the script once could be considered as planning, but rehearsing the same script over and over again is paranoia.

We often ask ourselves why are we frustrated? We usually respond to this by blaming an outside situation or person. Even though on a deeper level we understand the reason for the frustration, we refuse to accept it. This is because we do not have control of our minds. We are running on autopilot mode – act and react. In addition, we do not accept the present moment, and this resistance causes frustration and stress. Moreover, we waste our energy dwelling in the past that we cannot change, or worrying about the future, which is always uncertain. We are also constantly comparing ourselves with others, and end up feeling jealous, worthless, and depressed. All of these feelings occur automatically, and make us feel as though we are destined to be this way. We feel as though we have no freedom of choice because everything is happening automatically.

We have become prisoners of the mind, but we fail to realize this. We blame our imprisonment on our careers, finances, health, or relationships. If we do not enjoy our jobs, it feels like a prison and we want to break free. If we do not have enough finances, then living in a budget feels like a prison. If we are not healthy, our bodies feel like a prison, and if we do not get the love we expect from a spouse, then our relationships feel like prisons. Unfortunately, it does not end here; if we are drowning in feelings of jealousy for any reason, whom can we blame for this?

From our perspective, the grass seems greener on the other side, but is it really greener? Consider this true story - one day a monk visited a prison to give a talk, and was asked by the prisoners to stay a little longer to answer a few questions. The prisoners were interested to learn how the monk spends his day.

The first prisoner asked the monk “What time do you wake up in the morning?”

The monk replied, “We wake up at 4am”.

“That’s terrible, even in prison we don’t have to wake up at 4am.”

Another prisoner then asked him what do monks eat for breakfast. The monk said that they eat a bowl of porridge.

“That is such a boring breakfast, in prison we get milk, eggs, cheese, bread, cookies and much more”, said the prisoner.

Then the monk told them that after breakfast they do a lot of hard work such as construction and gardening, followed by meditation.

In a rebellious voice, one prisoner responded by saying “we don’t work so hard, if we are forced to work hard, we go on strike.”

The monk was then asked what they do in the evening, do they have a chance to play sports, play poker, or watch movies?

“No, we meditate”, responded the monk.

With a boring look on his face, a prisoner asked the last question, “What time do you go to bed?”

The monk replied, “we go to sleep at 10pm, but we don’t have beds, we sleep on the floor”.

By now, the prisoners started to sympathize with the monk, and one prisoner finally developed the courage to tell the monk “I’m sorry that you are living in such terrible conditions, you are welcome to stay in the prison with us if you wish”.

This story is a wonderful example of how we think. The prisoners initially thought that the monk was living a wonderful life, but after they learnt about his day, they realized that they are better off in prison. However, even though the life of the monk seemed more boring, he was happy, simply because of his choice to live in that manner, and his choice was reflected as happiness in his attitude. No matter how many luxuries the prisoners had, they were unhappy because they were forced to live in prison. If the prisoners simply accepted the situation, changed their perspective and attitude, their life in the prison would be more harmonious.

When we encounter an unfavorable situation, we can simply remind ourselves that life can always be worse. If we do not like our jobs, we can remind ourselves of all the people who are unemployed and would kill to have our jobs. If we are frustrated with our relationships, consider the loneliness of someone who may have lost a parent, spouse, or child. If we are depressed about our weight or beauty, we can remind ourselves of the cancer patients who are losing weight and losing their hair. If we are tired of all the chores, imagine all the disabled people who are craving to be able to walk, drive, cook, hear, and see. Gratitude is a powerful transforming force, and if a situation can get worse, it can also get better. So maintaining a positive mindset will make what we define as “struggle” much easier. However, a positive mindset does not only mean expecting a positive outcome, it truly means defining every outcome as positive. And this becomes incredibly easy when we focus on gratitude.

No situation that occurs in life is pre-labeled as positive or negative.  It is completely our choice as to how we define it.  Similarly, we do not know the journey of another soul, so judging their situations, as positive or negative is also inaccurate. We may define a health condition of someone else as negative, but we do not understand the amount of soul realization that the person has achieved through the struggles. Wise individuals will always acknowledge the positive outcomes of their situations, which others define as negative.

We can free ourselves from the prison of the mind by living in the present moment. This will give us peace of mind and happiness, as we will no longer be attached to the past or the future. This offers us a wonderful opportunity to consciously make choices and accept full responsibility for the outcomes.

Here are 5 simple tips to free ourselves from the prison of the mind:

1.     Accept the present situation as it is, without resistance.

2.     We may not have control of our situation, but we have full control of our attitude.

3.     Jealousy is immature. We do not know the struggles that the others have gone through to get where they are, nor do we know the future outcomes of their “good luck”.

4.     Switch off autopilot mode and live mindfully.

5.     Do not dwell in the past or worry about the future. Forget about the past that cannot be changed, and focus on the present that will affect the future.

“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. And have faith in what will be.” – Sonia Ricotti

Be Authentic

Have you noticed all the inauthenticity in the world today? It ranges from food ingredients to clothes, jewelry, electronics, organizations, governments; and even, people. The competitive nature of the world has forced us to lose our essence and become someone else.  Due to this we are starting to lose hope in our governments, organizations, family and friends. The media is filled with stories of scandals about organizations and leaders that we once believed were honest. Since the past 45 years people have become more depressed and the suicide rate has increased 60%.  In the world; on average one person dies by suicide every 40 seconds.

Many of us are starting to realize this, and by distancing ourselves; we are re-focusing our efforts inwards to re-align ourselves towards the truth. Authenticity does not mean that we are perfect; instead it means that we have recognized our imperfections, and striving to achieve a higher level of excellence.  We understand that alone, we cannot change the system, but one-by-one if we transform ourselves, slowly but surely, the environment around us will change.

A government cannot exist without its citizens, and an organization cannot flourish without its members. Yet many leaders fail to understand this because they have become accustomed to expect the citizens or members to follow them, whether it is based on fear or power. Similarly, the citizens and members have become accustomed to blindly follow the leader without asking questions, even though they feel uncomfortable behaving in a certain manner that is expected of them. This is due to the fear of the leader as well as the community that is supporting the leader. We need a sense of belonging to feel secure, and to attain this security we sacrifice the potential of being our authentic selves.

It can often be observed that certain individuals choose to distant themselves from specific people or organizations. This is because they have witnessed so much injustice or lack of ethics, that instead of attempting to offer their help for improvement, they choose to refrain from interacting with those organizations or people. We only have a limited amount of will power to stand up against unfairness, especially if others who feel the same way do not support us.

Alternately, from the perspective of authentic leaders, it is difficult for them to decide how to behave because they are constantly being criticized or idolized. With thousands of opinions floating around, and having so many lives dependent on their decisions; it becomes extremely challenging for them to do the right thing for everyone. If we come across such authentic leaders, it is best to remind ourselves how challenging their roles must be, and refrain from any judgment.

When Gandhi was a law student, he was asked by the manager of the dormitory to tell a little boy to stop having sugar. The manager felt that the boy would listen to Gandhi because he admired and respected him. So, Gandhi agreed. Two weeks later the manager asked Gandhi if he had told the boy to stop eating sugar. Gandhi responded by saying yes he did, but only today. The manager asked Gandhi why did it take him two weeks to tell the boy? Gandhi responded by saying “because it took me two weeks to stop having sugar”.

This is a simple, yet profound example of being authentic. Gandhi refused to guide or advise anyone, even a little boy, to follow his advice if he could not do it himself. How often do we advise others about what they should do, when we refuse to do it ourselves? Merely, because we have the authority, we tend to feel that we have the responsibility to change others. However, we focus so much on our “responsibility” that we forget to look within ourselves, and in turn end up behaving like a hypocrite.

The world and the future generations are in dire need of heart-oriented individuals that encourage uniqueness and collaboration. Authenticity is attractive and contagious. Our beauty and brains will only take us so far, but authenticity will take us all the way. As we become authentic individuals, our virtues will shine from within us; and as we shine, we will unconsciously give others the inspiration and empowerment to reveal their authentic selves.

Here are 5 simple tips to become more authentic:

1.    Every day Invest a few minutes in silence to go within and quiet the mind.

2.    Focus on doing the “Right Thing,” not just simply following guidelines and doing things right.

3.    Listen to your intuition. Slowly allow your mind to follow your heart to develop true intellect.

4.    When you witness someone standing up for what is right, appreciate and acknowledge them. Inspire yourself with their courage to stand up for what you believe is right.

5.    Always be honest with yourself. One who cannot deceive himself, cannot deceive anyone else.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Blissperience Life Coaching

Testimonial: “We all have parts of our lives that we need help with, whether it is time management, losing weight or becoming more peaceful. Dino is patient, positive, frank and solution-oriented, and all these qualities make him a really effective life-coach. He is also knowledgeable about the energy Chakras, Reiki and self-healing. I have benefited from my sessions with Dino, and hope that more people will seek his help to fine-tune their lives.” – Jaya Hiranandani (Read more Testimonials) 

"For years I have been looking for a life coach who knows what they are talking about. Today, I found one who was patient , full of energy, and vibrant to various topics we discussed. I would recommend Dino because he has the skills as to what he is talking about! Good Job Dino" - Avinash Mohinani (Read more Testimonials) 

What can you expect from Life Coaching?
Through life coaching sessions, Dino will help you achieve your goals and overcome your challenges by offering you insights, tools, and techniques that will transform your mind and empower you.

You will be guided on how to recognize your strengths as well as areas for improvement, and learn techniques that you can use to become the person that you aspire to be.

In addition, you will experience a higher level of awareness as your vibration is raised through the understanding and practice of energy work such as pranic healing, reiki, meditation, and the law of attraction.

Subjects that can be discussed: personality traits of yourself that you wish to transform such as will power, determination, critical/strategic thinking, motivation, faith, spirituality, (understanding yourself and life situations from the perspective of the soul), relationships, mental clarity, purpose in life (mission, vision, ideals), business transformation, leadership, self-empowerment, depression, healing, time management, and much more. 

How does a Life Coaching session work?

Each Life Coaching session lasts for 1 hour, as the purpose is to be productive and prepare action steps for you. Life coaching is not therapy so dwelling on the past is not encouraged; instead the sessions focus on the present and explore solutions. The time constraint also ensures that the sessions stay on subject. Dino intends to use the first 45 minutes for discussion and the last 15 minutes for action steps.

The Life Coaching sessions can be conducted face-to-face or via Skype, and the discussions during the sessions will be kept confidential. You are welcome to share a testimonial with others if you wish to help them overcome their challenges as well.

What can you do next?

For further enquiry or to schedule a Life Coaching session, send Dino a private message on Facebook by clicking here.

Who is Dino?

Dino started his career as a network engineer within the telecommunications industry, and was quickly promoted to product management and marketing. With over a decade of marketing and management experience, Dino brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise from a business perspective.

After trotting around the world (India, Japan, Africa, Taiwan, Dubai, US, and Singapore) for school, university, and work, Dino has cultivated great wisdom and experiences through interactions with such diverse cultures.

His passion for personal development started in the year 2000, when he realized that even though he was blessed with everything that life had to offer, he sensed a feeling of emptiness. This kicked-off his journey exploring the spiritual aspects of life and the way to find true happiness. He began reading spiritual texts, studying positive psychology, practicing healing (Reiki/Pranic) and meditation techniques, and experimented with tools to transform his mind and empower him to become the exceptional person he aspired to become.  

Dino’s greatest challenge was encountered in 2009 when suddenly he lost partial vision and was forced to face the uncertainties in life and dig deep down within himself to find the purpose of his soul as well as a reason to continue living even though living a 100% vision-based normal life was unlikely. A tremendous amount of personal development during those years completely transformed him, and has resulted in higher states of awareness that have led to frequent lucid dreams, spiritual visions, OBEs (Out of Body Experiences), past life regressions, deep insights, and a connection to his higher self. Today, through life coaching Dino guides others to face their fears, uncertainties, achieve their goals, and form a connection with their higher selves. 

After realizing that empowering others gives him true joy, he chose to further his personal development by pursuing a Master’s degree in Leading Innovation and Change. In addition he also started sharing his wisdom through his blog, as well as articles that are published in the Bharat Ratna International magazine.

Dino feels tremendous joy and empowerment by guiding and inspiring others through his blog and life coaching sessions. Now, he invites you to share your challenges with him as he assists you in becoming the person who you truly aspire to be.

Cultivate Compassion

Dino’s article “Renew Humanity Through Compassion” is published in the June 2013 issue of the Bharat Ratna (BRI) magazine. 

Compassion is a feeling of shared suffering for another form of life with the desire to alleviate that suffering. Compassion is often observed as a type of selfless service, generosity, or kindness. As we practice compassion our hearts open and we experience oneness with all. The most elevated emotion radiated by the heart is compassion, and it benefits our health in addition to helping us develop spiritually. Compassionate individuals are those of us that have experienced our share of suffering, and feel empathy for others who are facing similar challenges. We realize that just like us, others are also seeking happiness and trying to avoid pain.

From the physical and mental perspective, practicing compassion or kindness increases the production of serotonin in the brain, which results in calming the nerves as well as reducing anxiety and depression. In addition, regular acts of kindness have proven to reduce levels of stress, pain, and insomnia. Compassion and kindness are also contagious. Studies have shown that practicing kindness not only benefits the receiver, but also the giver. However, it does not end here, even the person observing the act of kindness receives the physical and mental benefits… (Read more)

•   Click here to read the full article published in the June 2013 issue.