Nourish Your Soul

Have you ever had the feeling that in spite of everything being close to perfect in your life, you still feel a sense of emptiness? Even though we have received a good education, enjoying optimal health, have an interesting friends circle, are financially secure, deeply loved by our friends and family, pursuing a successful career, have the latest gadgets, and the freedom to make our own decisions, yet something seems to be missing.

We are unable to figure out what is causing this emptiness, so we start looking at what is lacking in our lives and seeking that out. We may go out shopping for more clothes, shoes, gadgets, etc. or get into a relationship with someone to fulfill the empty feeling, but we soon notice that our action has only brought temporary satisfaction or was a mistake altogether. And, once again we seek to fill that emptiness by making another purchase, and the loop continues.

By nature, to be satisfied we must have certain needs met in our lives., Our first concern is our physiological needs such as food, water, sleep, and shelter. Then we move on to security, which is certainty of our health, finances, and employment. Once we feel secure, we are able to strive to achieve our goals, and then seek a sense of achievement that may include a career or relationship. For many of us, this is the last stage that we strive for because at this point we are too busy dealing with the tasks at the office or managing life at home. Life becomes mundane and the only motivation for us to wake up in the morning is the responsibility of having to dress the kids for school, cook for the family, complete household chores, and get to work. By the end of the day we feel drained by all the tasks that we have performed for others, but nothing for ourselves. This is the reason for our feeling of emptiness, and is often fulfilled by a temporary sense of satisfaction through retail therapy or indulging in unhealthy cravings. 

Once our basic personality needs are satisfied, it’s time to fulfill the needs of the soul, which will ultimately remove the feeling of emptiness. The first desire of the soul is to grow and evolve. We can achieve this by participating in activities that will challenge us and expand our minds, for example, this may include participating in a healthy discussion on philosophy, joining a meditation or yoga class, going fishing, skydiving, learning a new language, or even going back to school. When we come across senior citizens who have decided to enroll in classes again or involve in a new activity that doesn’t fit their nature, we are often surprised. They do this simply because their soul is seeking to grow. As soon as we move out of our comfort zone, we begin to challenge ourselves and expand our minds. We start feeling more fulfilled and confident because we are growing. It is difficult to find time for personal development these days, but once we start and experience the joy it brings, we will make it a habit to schedule time everyday only for ourselves.

As we grow, we will automatically sense the second desire of the soul, which is the need to contribute. Very often if you ask people what has made them truly happy, the response would be that they have made a difference in someone else’s life. The soul has a desire to offer its abilities to a cause larger than itself. We can easily find a cause that inspires us, and devote our time, knowledge, skills, and talents for at least an hour every week. This act of contribution brings a sense of meaning and significance to our lives, and removes the feeling of emptiness.

There has never been a better time in history when we have had so much easy and affordable access to knowledge, classes, or events. All we have to do is decide what we want to learn, and dedicate a few hours each week to that activity. This is also the greatest time to offer our support and skills to a cause, as life is becoming more challenging for everyone, and those who are currently contributing need our support.

If we are feeling the sense of emptiness, let us seek to fill it with something of value that will not just satisfy our personality needs, but make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. Let us consciously expand our knowledge, awareness, and talents by moving out of our comfort zone by devoting time to our personal development, as well as contributing to making a difference in the lives of others. As we nourish and serve the purpose of the soul, our dormant talents, creativity, and sense of awe will come alive, which will ultimately lead to a more fulfilled and joyous life.

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy, I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” – Tagore

Embrace Uncertainty

Many of us believe in the existence of a higher power, but like most people in the world, we have moments in life when we question the validity of our beliefs.  It is during these times of hardship and turmoil that we experience events in our lives that solidify our faith in the Source, and reinforces in us the belief of a supreme consciousness guiding the universe. 

All of us encounter challenges in our lives that leave us confused, depressed, and ultimately drains our energy. These challenges could come as a serious medical condition, relationship issue, or a loss of a loved one.  In such severe circumstances, our friends, family members or any amount of finance cannot bear this pain for us. Being unable to foresee a solution eventually leads to fear and anxiety. By nature, in such situations, we pass through the stages of grief that include denial, anger, depression, and finally acceptance. Our mental maturity determines how quickly we can pass through these stages. For instance, some of us may dwell longer in the denial or anger stages, while others may fall deep in to depression.

After acknowledging and accepting the fact that it is a situation that we must go through, it becomes easier to overcome the fear, anxiety, and confusion that arise. We must remind ourselves, that a sailor cannot control the weather or seas, but he can adjust his sails to handle the waves, similarly, we may not have control over the external situation that has occurred, however we can change our interpretation and response. Positively surrendering to a higher power and completely trusting in a divine intelligence follows acceptance. Surrender is considered an extremely difficult attribute to cultivate, because it means giving up control, and for this reason it is often demonstrated by individuals with a deep and unshakable belief system.  Surrender, along with patience and complete faith is often the result of a situation in life where a person feels completely helpless to the point when suicide is even considered, but through inner wisdom or a purpose for living, such as raising a child motivates the person to continue fighting. Surrender does not mean that we must lose hope and not act; on the contrary positive surrender is acting with courage in alignment with our true self by trusting and following our intuition, no matter how unreasonable it may sound.

Once we surrender and go with the ‘flow’ of things; fear, anxiety, and self-doubt will vanish, and we will enjoy the most liberating feeling imaginable. Our inner strength, mental resolve, and the ability to face uncertainty will grow. This unshakable faith and surrender to the universe, and realization that no matter what occurs, the universe cares for us, and only a higher power can help us get through this situation, brings comfort and relief.

Once we understand that there is a divine intelligence underlying all that is, why should we fear uncertainty? When we are children, we trust our parents because they know what is best for us. Even if it means eating the vegetables we hate or gulping down cough syrup. However, when we reach a point where our parents or friends cannot help us, what should we do? We must have faith, it is the only thing that ultimately sustains us and gives us the strength, courage, and tenacity to overcome our challenges. It is with hindsight that we often realize and appreciate the tremendous inner growth and wisdom that we have cultivated by overcoming our obstacles.

As we surrender we will sense an invisible hand guiding us whenever we encounter a difficult or confusing situation. Remember that everything is perfectly orchestrated by this divine intelligence and it simply takes a little bit of awareness and faith to notice the order within the chaos. 

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a paradise from adversity, or create a prison from blessing." – John Milton

Seven Foods to Avoid

Food is an extremely significant part of our lives. No gathering is complete without food. We consume foods in whichever mood we are in, whether it’s a celebration or a funeral. Prisoners on death row are even offered a choice for their last meal. Ask a sick man what would be the first thing he would do when he gets well, and the answer would very often be to eat his favorite food. A majority of us live to eat, instead of it being the other way around.

Foods have a profound impact on our emotions and energy levels. Many diseases are caused by an unhealthy diet. Very often it is observed that we feel extremely lethargic after lunch, and this reduces office productivity for two to three hours. This is due to the unhealthy and high carbohydrate diet. In Asia we consume excessive amounts of rice, while in the west rice is replaced with white flour. It is also predicted that the next generation of children will be more obese, suffer from Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and autism simply because of an unhealthy and toxic diet.

Eat More Fruits!

It is always good to consume foods that are fresh and rich in life force. Here are some benefits of our favorite fruits.

·      Grapes relax the blood vessels.

·      Apples help the body develop resistance against infections.

·      Watermelons help control the heart rate.

·      Oranges help maintain great skin and vision.

·      Strawberries can potentially fight against cancer and aging.

·      Bananas are great for athletes because they increase energy in the body.

·      Pineapples help fight arthritis.

·      Blueberries protect the heart.

·      Kiwis increase bone mass.

·      Mangoes protect against several kinds of cancers.

What's Your Story?

Once upon a time Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, and bumped into seven dwarfs that had three little pigs and a lamb whose fleece was white as snow. The seven dwarfs gave Jack a few beans, which he planted into a beanstalk. Jill climbed the beanstalk and met a fairy in the clouds, who granted her a wish, but warned her that if she made a selfish wish for herself; her nose would grow longer. In order to maintain her beauty, she decided to make a wish for her friend humpty dumpty who had fallen off a wall and could not be put back together again. The fairy granted her wish and once again, humpy dumpty sat on the wall.  She climbed down the beanstalk and noticed that Jack had fallen down and broke his crown. She gave him a kiss, which turned him into a frog, and they lived happily ever after.

By nature, we have a fascination for stories and story telling. From the time when we were born, our parents read to us or taught us nursery rhymes. We may not be aware, but whenever we communicate with our friends we are sharing stories about ourselves or about others. We enjoy reading novels and watching movies while getting so involved in them that we feel inspired, terrified, humored, disgusted, or even end up in tears. We also find it very easy to absorb information when it’s in a form of a story, because it makes it interesting and we can often relate to it.

Everyone has a story to tell and a lesson to teach. A chapter full of pain and suffering can cultivate compassion within us. A chapter of triumph can inspire us to achieve what we are striving for.  We can feel gratitude and appreciation by reading about lives of the less privileged, and failures encourage us to try again without quitting. Our state of mind at the time dictates the lesson that we can learn from a specific chapter or story. This is why when we hear or read the same story for a second time, we find a different meaning hidden within it.    

When we encounter unfavorable situations, we can remind ourselves that it is simply another chapter of our story that is unfolding, and we can choose how exciting or boring we would like it to be.  Consider the types of stories that we are attracted towards. These stories often involve mysteries, triumph of good over evil, deception, sorrow, success, death, strategies, etc. This is basically what life is all about.  Why are we intrigued when others face such situations, but get depressed when it happens to us? This universe is one expansive story with billions of chapters full of various emotions that are unfolding in real-time.

We must strive to make our chapters interesting. Let us take chances, participate in activities that excite us, embrace uncertainty, trust even though we may get hurt, believe in ourselves, and follow our passions. Most importantly we must give ourselves a pat on the back and be proud of our stories so far.  Every scar that we have endured symbolizes a triumph, and every scar that we have caused offers us the opportunity to forgive ourselves, make peace with the past, and move on. 

If we do not consider the chapters of our lives interesting enough, now is the time to start writing exciting ones. Our stories are unfolding in real-time and no one knows how or when it will end. At every moment we have a choice to decide in which direction we would like this chapter to turn. We can alter our emotions and actions to drive the chapters of our stories into a direction that will excite us and create a lasting impression. It is always a choice, and the only moment we have guaranteed to us is Now.

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”  ― Robert Frost

Tapping with Dino

In this Watch & Learn video, Dino teaches us a technique called Tapping (EFT) that can be used to reduce stress, clear limiting beliefs, and release fears that hold us back from reaching our full potential.
Check it out!

The Four Pillars of a New Year’s Resolution

As the New Year approaches and the planets realign, it has become a tradition for us to make a resolution and bring about a positive change in our lives. Very often, the same resolutions are recycled year after year. Some individuals strive to lose weight, exercise more, and maintain a healthier diet, while others intend to work less at the office, spend more time with the family, go on a vacation, or simply engage in more activities that they are passionate about.

It has also become a tradition for these resolutions to fail within the first few weeks, at least. Whenever someone shares his or her New Year’s resolution with Dino, he often laughs it off by responding with a sarcastic “Good Luck!”. This is because he knows that the resolution has not been developed through any concrete thought or planning. A resolution to bring about a positive change in life requires dedication and effective planning – failing to plan is planning to fail, and this is usually the case within the first few weeks of the New Year.

2012 is the year to re-invent ourselves and successfully achieve the resolutions that we have set. The following are four pillars that will build our foundation so that we can manifest the change that we desire.

1. A 30-Day Resolution – Replace the resolution for the year with a resolution for 30 days instead. The probability of following through a 30-day resolution is much higher than one for the year. We often get discouraged by the idea of maintaining a routine for the entire year and doubt our ability to be successful due to the overwhelming feeling. A solution for this is to break the resolution down into short intervals. For example, it may seem difficult if we intend to lose 12Kgs during the year, but it becomes much easier if we strive towards losing 1Kg per month instead.

2. Track the Progress –A majority of the resolutions are left incomplete because we do not see immediate results or monitor the progress. Tracking the progress also builds momentum and encourages us to continue further. Create a spreadsheet in MS Excel or use a notebook or white board to schedule and track the progress of the resolution. In addition it is also important to schedule time for unexpected circumstances and offer ourselves flexibility incase we choose to take a temporary break.

3. Delay the Gratification – Curb the urge to announce the resolution to everyone. We typically do this for one of two reasons. Either to inform our friends to monitor us incase we slide, or for the praise and applause for choosing to embark on a new challenge. A resolution requires sincere dedication, and an occasional word of encouragement from a friend will not suffice, this is why it is necessary to track a progress on a chart or notebook. On the other hand, if we share our resolutions with our friends to enjoy the praise, acknowledgement, and applause, our motivation to strive will eventually fizzle away, since the acknowledgment of the potentially successful resolution will gratify us instead of empowering us to follow through the entire plan. We must be silent about our resolutions in the beginning and allow the results to speak for themselves.

4. Cultivate Willpower – Willpower is like a muscle in the body and must be exercised in order to get stronger. As we follow the three pillars above and begin to see the results, we will be more motivated to stay on track. We will enjoy the inner strength that we receive and discover new ways to explore our capacities further. However, we must remind ourselves that even though willpower is like a muscle and will strengthen through effort and resistance, we must refrain from over practicing this self-restraint. It is most effective to set a maximum of three resolutions at a time in order to avoid willpower depletion.

Dino suggests that we celebrate and usher in the New Year with all its glory and not to deprive ourselves in order to follow the resolutions. It is advised to wait until the confetti settles, the alcohol in our blood has cleared, the carbohydrate levels in our bodies have normalized, and finished commenting on all the photos on Facebook before we begin to work on the resolution. There is no rush to get started as we are only competing with ourselves. It is imperative that we make a clear plan and then follow it with dedication and enthusiasm.

Dino wishes the readers of this blog a prosperous and healthy 2012.

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." – Zig Ziglar

Top 5 blog posts of 2011

As this year comes to a close, Dino would like to take this opportunity to thank all the readers of this blog for the support, encouragement, and feedback. Dino is pleased that the insights presented in this blog inspire or empower the readers, while giving them the opportunity to question their own belief systems.

Dino will post more frequently on a wider range of subjects next year, but before we move on, here is a round up of the Top 5 most inspiring blog posts of 2011.

5. Be a Player - An empowering way to overcome the shallow mindset of others is to view life as a game. Read more…

4. Are you projecting a bitter attitude? - Each one of us is a like a diamond, and if we are agitated and irritated by every rub, which is disguised in the form of a problem, we cannot be polished, and will not evolve beyond the bitter state that we project. Read more…

3. It’s not easy to be me - Before making any decisions, we must ask ourselves, “who has made this decision for me? Is it a parent, sibling, friend, spouse, a habit, or my intuition? Read more…

2. Achieve Greatness through Humility - A great human being is one who may have achieved all the material success that he/she desired, while cultivating humility and empowering others. Read more…

1. Everybody Loves Samosas! – Dino teaches us how to make a different kind of Samosa. Watch Now!

Dino wishes all the readers of this blog a Prosperous and Healthy 2012.

Be a Player

As the situation of the world has become increasingly uncertain, economies are collapsing, jobs losses are on the rise, competition in business, as well personal development is getting fierce, and depression is a norm, It has become very tricky for us to stay focused due to such distractions. With all the negativity and instant changes, It is almost impossible to dedicate ourselves to a single task or goal. These situations discourage us from achieving our personal goals because of the fear of failure and the lack of time. The external circumstances are affecting our internal dialogue with ourselves, which in turn is making us less effective individuals. Dino has always believed in the phrase “shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you will land among the stars”, and has recently become immune to external factors that attempt to affect his life and drain his energy.

Dino often reminds himself of a story in which a few frogs decided to participate in a race where the goal was to reach the top of a tower. A large crowd gathered to cheer the contestants. The race was tough and the frogs were struggling, while the crowds were screaming "no way, they can't do it",' it's too hard" etc. One at a time, each frog fell off the tower, except for one that reached the top and won the race. At the end, when the frog was asked how he managed to win, it turned out that the frog was deaf.

We often come across discouraging people who tell us how difficult or impossible it is to achieve our goals and dreams. Never the less, we have heard, read about, and even know people who have achieved the impossible. Whether, it's applying to a prestigious university, passing an exam, pursuing a unique career, losing weight, or recovering from a chronic or terminal illness, such folks remind us that we cannot achieve our goals, because their limiting mindset defines it as unrealistic.

An empowering way to overcome this shallow mindset of others is to view life as a game. Every game has players and spectators – which one would we like to be? The purpose of a player is to direct his focus and energy so that he can hit a home run, score a goal or a touchdown. He is very often immune to the cheering or boo-ing from the spectators, even if these individuals are family members or friends. Some spectators pray that we succeed while others hope that we injure ourselves – this makes the game more entertaining for them. If we share our goals and dreams with a hundred people, we will receive a hundred different opinions. It is beneficial to consider these opinions as feedback and evaluate them objectively. Constructive feedback is the greatest way to improve and redirect our efforts if necessary. In addition, being neutral to the praise or criticism from others will save us from heart ache, ill feelings, or maybe even idolizing them. The same spectators that praise us today, will criticize us tomorrow, usually based on a comparison of how well they are progressing towards their goals.

Another way to stay focused is by monitoring the voice in our heads. Whether outside spectators exist or not, it is the voice inside our heads that is a constant critic. It is imperative to tame and silence this voice whenever it goes astray, because finally, our success or failure is dependent on the encouragement or limiting beliefs of this voice.

When we finally achieve our goals or fulfill our dreams, it may seem like a miracle. However, miracles simply bloom from the seeds of deep desire, constant effort in the right direction, and an unshakeable character. Miracles are possible, and no goals are unrealistic – if our minds can conceive it, we can achieve it.

“When everybody tells you that you are being idealistic or impractical, consider the possibility that everybody could be wrong about what is right for you.” – Gilbert Kaplan

Achieve Greatness through Humility

Last Wednesday, two hours before his thirty-second birthday, Dino began to review his life so far, and think of a resolution for the year. He tracked back to the key milestones in his life, such as the successes, failures, financial gains, wrong investments, career, relationships, etc. While simultaneously evaluating the outcome of these experiences, and using the insights in order to excel further. Since his birthday was the reason for a new resolution, he contemplated the subjects of aging and death as well. The key question was, “When I die, what would I like people to remember me for?”. Dino began to recall the memories of his relatives who had passed away. The lives of a few of these individuals were truly inspiring, while others were the complete opposite. This lead him to create a new definition of a successful life.

A majority of us define and acknowledge a successful life based on academic achievements – were we accepted at prestigious universities, careers – did we pursue careers at the top firms in the industry or run a successful business, relationships – have we settled down with a wealthy, attractive, and intelligent spouse, having raised our children to be the best in this competitive world, and most importantly, wealth accumulation. The definition of a successful life was similar among all the relatives that passed away and those who are still alive, except for one attribute – Greatness.

Without a doubt, certain individuals have lead a successful life based on the common definition, however, how many of them could be labeled as “Great”? Everyone struggles to achieve their goals, and persistently overcome challenges while using those experiences to climb the ladder of success and build a reputation for themselves. Unfortunately, very often, this success leads to pride , arrogance, and a sense of separation from others who do not fit into their definition of success. This is when such individuals lose any potential of attaining the title of “Greatness”.


According to Dino, a great human being is one who may have achieved all the material success that he/she desired, while cultivating humility and empowering others. As we gain experience in life, we are offered more responsibilities and opportunities, which grant us the power to make a difference in the lives of others. How we choose to use this power, is what truly defines our greatness. Unfortunately, some individuals with the right intentions are lacking the power to execute them, while others with the power are lacking the direction. It’s a pity to witness such misuse of power these days.

If we simply ask ourselves, what memories would we like to leave in the hearts and minds of humanity as we depart, we would be able to live a more truthful and purposeful life. We encounter the idea of death every moment, as we lose a family/friend, or indirectly by observing life around us, watching the news, or even passing by a butcher’s shop or the frozen section in the supermarket. We never wonder whether death will fall upon us, we know this simply as fact, but we don’t believe it. The ignorance within us often reminds us that death is a tragedy that happens to others, but not to us. When we finally become aware of this truth and the uncertainties in life, we will choose to embrace it and live with purpose and redefine our definition of a successful life.

Alexander the Great conquered many lands and accumulated much wealth. When death was close, he had three wishes that he ordered his generals to carry out. The first was that his coffin be carried to the grave only by his physicians, symbolizing that even the best medical team could not save him when his time was up. The second wish was that the path to the grave should be lined with all the gold and silver that he accumulated, symbolizing that all his wealth would remain on earth, and finally that his hands should be dangling out of the coffin. This was to symbolize that he came to this world empty handed and departed empty handed.

When we reach the end of our lives or while fighting a terminal illness, our successful careers, wealth, and superficial relationships lose its value. Understanding this truth early in our lives will save us time and effort, and will empower us to choose our goals wisely, because once we depart from the world, it is our memories, reputation, and the difference that we made in the lives of others that will remain, while we carry with us only the imprints of our experiences on our souls.

“In the school of the Spirit, man learns wisdom through humility, knowledge by forgetting, how to speak by silence, and how to live by dying.” - Johannes Tauler

Beep Beep! Are you always in a hurry?

Like the Road Runner, if you’re in a hurry and beeping everyone out of your way to get somewhere, it would be wise to bookmark this blog post for another time. If not, relax and enjoy the insights that Dino has to share today.

From the moment we wake up in the morning, our minds and bodies shift from first gear directly to fifth gear. We hit the shower, prepare breakfast, dress the kids for school, engage in a quick argument with the spouse, and then rush off to catch the public transportation to get to work on time. Once we arrive at the office, we’re bombarded with over fifty email messages – all marked as “high priority”. It takes a few minutes to decide whether to complete our pending work or immediately reply to an irate customer. Once we have finally decoded the customer’s concern, due to his terrible English grammar, it’s time to rush for the first meeting. The meeting lasts for three hours, and then it’s time for lunch. If we’re lucky, we get a chance to have lunch alone at the desk while completing a report or project. As the sun sets, we look forward to returning home. This clearly isn’t the end of the day. We may need to prepare dinner, attend a stress relaxation class at the gym, or socialize with our friends online/offline. As the clock strikes mid-night we rest our heads on the pillow. Unfortunately, even while we are asleep the activities of the day lurk in our dreams, and before we know it, we are stretching to reach the snooze button on the annoying alarm clock. Following this, another exciting day begins. This was Dino’s schedule, and most likely you share a similar or an even more demanding one. Many of us refer to our lives as a rat race – always busy, striving to gain as much as possible in the shortest amount of time, and then feeling drained or unsatisfied. Even if we were granted 50 hours in a day, with this lifestyle, it would be fairly easy to occupy every minute, while we continue to complain or brag that we don’t have enough time.

Without a doubt, this is unhealthy and will eventually burn us out. Our minds become cluttered with all the activities on hand, while trying to evaluate the previous action and figure out how and when to perform the next one. We lose track and are unable to concentrate on the task at hand. This mindset continues for years and eventually we become accustomed to behaving in this manner. Even when we try to relax, our minds are racing in a million directions at once. We lose the essence of the moment because we’re mentally dwelling either in the past or the future.

This does not mean that we should ignore the past and the lessons it offers to teach us, or avoid planning for the future, however, we must schedule a time for ‘evaluation’ and ‘planning’. Once in a while, it’s beneficial to slide over to the passenger ‘s seat and allow our intuition drive, while we view and admire the scenery. Whether we come across an ugly neighborhood or a beautiful town, on a bumpy or smooth road during a rainy or sunny day, following a detour or while having an accident. Witness and enjoy the journey – we will eventually arrive at the destination if it’s meant to be.

When we share our success stories or struggles with others, we always reflect on the journey, either with a smile or tears flowing down. The journey offers us the opportunity to unleash dormant talents within us, and reveal to the world, our courage, wisdom, and passion in life. We inspire those around us by the turbulence that we have encountered and overcome in order to arrive at our destination. We often hear the phrase “time flies”. Time doesn’t fly, we do. Time ticks at a constant rate, it is relative to each individual. We lose track of time when we are enjoying with our friends or working on a project with passion. However, a patient suffering from a terminal illness may experience time as a drag..

Let us make an effort to live every moment, in the moment. We very well know that the next one isn’t promised to us. As we focus on the current activity, un-clutter the mind, and avoid distractions, we invite creativity to flow within us. Dino has undertaken this challenge and will remind himself to return to the present whenever his mind drifts off, until living in the moment becomes a habit.

“Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day's work absorb your entire energies, and satisfy your widest ambition.” - Sir William Osler

It’s not easy to be me

Very often when we observe kids playing in the park we tend to recall our childhood. It would be the little things in life that would make us happy. When we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, we would respond with passion and a sparkle in our eyes. Dino always wanted to be an astronaut or an air force pilot. Some kids want to grow up to be doctors, lawyers, actors, singers or teachers, while others just wanted to be really rich. As we recall these childhood memories, we reflect on our lives today, what did we hope for and where have we ended up? This does not mean that our lives are terrible, it’s simply not what we had hoped for. Our dream did not come true. As we grow up, we meet new people, learn new things, start travelling, and building our personalities. We may interact with more people that highlight our limitations than those that motivate us with the infinite options that are possible for us , and slowly we believe that our dream may be impossible.

As a result of this, we begin to follow others. We constantly remind ourselves that if we follow certain people we will be heading in the right direction. We join clubs in high school, play specific sports, hang out with the popular kids, follow them to the same colleges, choose the same major and even apply for the same jobs. We choose to get married and even change our religion, simply because someone else has done so. It doesn’t end here, even as we get close to death, we feel the need to follow and impress others. Finally, one day when we look back at our lives, we ask ourselves what is the purpose of our life .We begin to look back and regret some of our actions and relationships.

It is crucial that we begin to look within ourselves early in life. Each one of us is different and has a unique purpose. Unfortunately, this isn’t taught to students in schools and may not be taught at home either. Our teachers and parents are constantly encouraging us to be competitive. Just because Joe Shmoe is a math whiz and plans to become an engineer, it doesn’t mean that we must too. We may enjoy sports, art, dance, writing, etc. Over time, this belief is embedded within us, and we start looking at others for direction in our life and slowly but surely we succumb to peer pressure. We cannot blame our parents or teachers for planting such seeds within us, as they are suffering the consequences of the same belief system and don’t know any better.

It takes immense courage to break out of peer pressure and be ourselves. The result of this can be difficult to handle at first, but totally worth it in the long run. Superficial relationships will fade away, the pressure to compete with others will disappear, and we will find more fulfilling goals, hobbies, and relationships. Our intuition will be heightened and the uncomfortable desire to seek advice from others will vanish. At first we may be ridiculed by the individuals that are feeding off our weakness, but over time we will earn respect and trust by a majority of the crowd. Those who ridicule us are doing so purely out of jealously and their insecurities. Albert Einstein was accurate when he stated that great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. If we observe life carefully, we will notice that a majority of the people don’t care about us or our problems. A few may be worried, but that’s only if we are doing better than them, and only a handful of people are genuinely happy about our success or concerned when we are in trouble. A large percentage of the population on this planet are followers and evaluate their self worth based on what others think of them. This is the reason why they adopt a certain behavior or habit, so that they’re accepted by the group. It’s not always what we do, but what we don’t do that defines who we are.

We are like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and must fit into the right place to complete the picture of life. Each piece of the jigsaw puzzle is unique and designed for only one spot. Dino believes that as children, we are a square piece, and need to chisel ourselves in the appropriate manner to fit into the puzzle of life in order to serve our purpose. When Michelangelo was asked how he created the sculpture of David out of a square block of stone, his response was that he simply chiseled away the pieces that were not “David”. Similarly, this is what we need to do to ourselves - chisel away all that is not “us”.

We can begin this process by being aware and watching the patterns of our thoughts and actions. Before making any decisions, we must ask ourselves, “who has made this decision for me? Is it a parent, sibling, friend, spouse, a habit, or my intuition?” If it is anything other than our intuition or a respected individual, then we need to reconsider the decision. We know, without doubt, which individuals would guide us in the right direction. In addition, as we begin to trust and follow our intuition, it will become easier to make decisions. This process can also help us discard those decision makers that no longer serve us, especially those that are based on habit. This will also improve our clarity of thought, as we will no longer be concerned about what other people will think of our actions. We waste a tremendous amount of energy worrying about what others will feel about us. We go out of our way to impress certain individuals, but fail to understand that these are the individuals that are feeding off us, and consider everything to be a competition for their attention and approval. This creates unnecessary stress and diverts us away from what is truly possible for us. The greatest gift we can give ourselves, is to simply be ourselves, and by all means this will result in a more fulfilling and purpose driven life.

“Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.”
Joy Page