It’s not easy to be me

Very often when we observe kids playing in the park we tend to recall our childhood. It would be the little things in life that would make us happy. When we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, we would respond with passion and a sparkle in our eyes. Dino always wanted to be an astronaut or an air force pilot. Some kids want to grow up to be doctors, lawyers, actors, singers or teachers, while others just wanted to be really rich. As we recall these childhood memories, we reflect on our lives today, what did we hope for and where have we ended up? This does not mean that our lives are terrible, it’s simply not what we had hoped for. Our dream did not come true. As we grow up, we meet new people, learn new things, start travelling, and building our personalities. We may interact with more people that highlight our limitations than those that motivate us with the infinite options that are possible for us , and slowly we believe that our dream may be impossible.

As a result of this, we begin to follow others. We constantly remind ourselves that if we follow certain people we will be heading in the right direction. We join clubs in high school, play specific sports, hang out with the popular kids, follow them to the same colleges, choose the same major and even apply for the same jobs. We choose to get married and even change our religion, simply because someone else has done so. It doesn’t end here, even as we get close to death, we feel the need to follow and impress others. Finally, one day when we look back at our lives, we ask ourselves what is the purpose of our life .We begin to look back and regret some of our actions and relationships.

It is crucial that we begin to look within ourselves early in life. Each one of us is different and has a unique purpose. Unfortunately, this isn’t taught to students in schools and may not be taught at home either. Our teachers and parents are constantly encouraging us to be competitive. Just because Joe Shmoe is a math whiz and plans to become an engineer, it doesn’t mean that we must too. We may enjoy sports, art, dance, writing, etc. Over time, this belief is embedded within us, and we start looking at others for direction in our life and slowly but surely we succumb to peer pressure. We cannot blame our parents or teachers for planting such seeds within us, as they are suffering the consequences of the same belief system and don’t know any better.

It takes immense courage to break out of peer pressure and be ourselves. The result of this can be difficult to handle at first, but totally worth it in the long run. Superficial relationships will fade away, the pressure to compete with others will disappear, and we will find more fulfilling goals, hobbies, and relationships. Our intuition will be heightened and the uncomfortable desire to seek advice from others will vanish. At first we may be ridiculed by the individuals that are feeding off our weakness, but over time we will earn respect and trust by a majority of the crowd. Those who ridicule us are doing so purely out of jealously and their insecurities. Albert Einstein was accurate when he stated that great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. If we observe life carefully, we will notice that a majority of the people don’t care about us or our problems. A few may be worried, but that’s only if we are doing better than them, and only a handful of people are genuinely happy about our success or concerned when we are in trouble. A large percentage of the population on this planet are followers and evaluate their self worth based on what others think of them. This is the reason why they adopt a certain behavior or habit, so that they’re accepted by the group. It’s not always what we do, but what we don’t do that defines who we are.

We are like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and must fit into the right place to complete the picture of life. Each piece of the jigsaw puzzle is unique and designed for only one spot. Dino believes that as children, we are a square piece, and need to chisel ourselves in the appropriate manner to fit into the puzzle of life in order to serve our purpose. When Michelangelo was asked how he created the sculpture of David out of a square block of stone, his response was that he simply chiseled away the pieces that were not “David”. Similarly, this is what we need to do to ourselves - chisel away all that is not “us”.

We can begin this process by being aware and watching the patterns of our thoughts and actions. Before making any decisions, we must ask ourselves, “who has made this decision for me? Is it a parent, sibling, friend, spouse, a habit, or my intuition?” If it is anything other than our intuition or a respected individual, then we need to reconsider the decision. We know, without doubt, which individuals would guide us in the right direction. In addition, as we begin to trust and follow our intuition, it will become easier to make decisions. This process can also help us discard those decision makers that no longer serve us, especially those that are based on habit. This will also improve our clarity of thought, as we will no longer be concerned about what other people will think of our actions. We waste a tremendous amount of energy worrying about what others will feel about us. We go out of our way to impress certain individuals, but fail to understand that these are the individuals that are feeding off us, and consider everything to be a competition for their attention and approval. This creates unnecessary stress and diverts us away from what is truly possible for us. The greatest gift we can give ourselves, is to simply be ourselves, and by all means this will result in a more fulfilling and purpose driven life.

“Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.”
Joy Page