Why Did I Stop Crying?

Feb 24, 2014 @ 3.45AM – During my dream, there was an old lady wearing a white sari and rubbed some healing oil on my face.

Then as I started to walk away, I felt dizzy and asked her what she had applied on me. She did not reply, and started walking away with me.

We then saw another lady also dressed in white who was falling down the stairs, so we ran to her rescue. As she fell, I caught her on my lap. It seemed to me at the time that this lady had taken on someone else's suffering upon herself and fell due to that. The lady beside me started crying for her, and so did I. I kept looking up at the sky and screaming, "Shirdi Sai Baba, what are you doing? Why are you doing this?” We were weeping uncontrollably.

Then I had a stroke of insight during the dream, and heard myself saying "why am I crying, God knows what he is doing. Am I crying just because the other lady is crying and it's expected of me? I started to calm down, and woke up. My heart was pounding, and I was drenched in sweat.

We always witness difficult situations in our lives that make us feel sad, angry, or betrayed. However, instead of being mindful in that situation, we simply follow the reactions of the crowd. This tends to multiply the emotions.

On a cognitive level, we all understand that whatever happens is because of the will of God. In fact, it is not the will of God, but the authorization of God. It is a cause of our free-will that has resulted in the situation, and we define it as the will of God. If it truly was only God's will, then we would have complete right to blame Him for every unfortunate situation in our lives. God does not interfere with free-will; however, we can only practice free-will because of the authorization of God. It is said that not even a blade of grass can bend without God’s will.

If we believe this, then there is absolutely no reason to feel anger, sorrow, depression, or complain because it is ultimately a result of our free-will on a deeper level. We would also not question God anymore as to why certain things happen in our lives.

If we practice mindfulness, and simply not follow the crowd as it’s expected of us, we will experience a mind of calmness and clarity.